[UPDATED] I'm Watching The Fate of the Furious Tonight

"Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
12/20/2017 at 23:00 • Filed to: the fast and the furious, the fate of the furious, movies

and I don’t know why.

I guess I could have stopped watching a few movies ago, but it was Furious 7 that really had me thinking that I was done. Not out of disgust, but because 7 had such a satisfying send-off at the end. Really nice way to bookend the series.

#onelastride , huh?

The premiere of F8 came and went. I never bothered to see it in theaters, and was in no rush to see it on home video either. But when I noticed it for under $10 on Cyber Monday, I figured eh, sure and threw it in my cart.

It’s been sitting on my shelf for a few weeks now, collecting dust thanks to my lack of motivation to go ahead and pop it in. Well, I’m finally getting around to that tonight. I’m sure it’ll have some cool cars, at least.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

11:00PM UPDATE:

I’m so glad I didn’t pay full price to see this. I’m thinking that 9 and 10 will have to wait until they reach the $5 bargain bin, or I can watch them for free.

Now, I’m not gonna pick apart the story. The series jumped the shark a long time ago, and has been trying to out-do itself ever since. And that’s all I have to say about that.

I don’t feel like doing a full review, so I’ll just nitpick some of the car-related stuff...

MORE OF THIS PLEASE

First of all: Loved Cuba. They didn’t spend nearly enough time there. The cars were great, the colors were fantastic, and it was nice to see some brief wrenching, too.

For a second there, I thought the guy on the right was the ghost of Tom Magliozzi (Car Talk)

What’s going on here? This tab connects a cable to this vacuum hose, so that Dom can (after opening the nitrous valves) remotely “pull the vacuum line and hold on”. But what are those lines connected to? Fuel pressure regular? Boost controller? He calls this trick a “poor man’s turbo” even though the car’s already turbocharged.

During the race @0:07:16, there’s a passing *beep beep* sound effect, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! that I know I’ve heard many times before. Might have to start keeping tracking of that one too, now.

Fun race, but... just how tall was that reverse gear to keep up with (and overtake) his opponent? Yeah, I guess the nitrous is probably supposed to be revving the engine so high that the ratio doesn’t matter. But that should have just made the car so much more overwhelmingly fast while it was still pointed forward...

Later, Dominic hears Cipher’s engine crank slowly, and suspects a fuel delivery issue. It turns out that he’s actually right about that, and I gotta admit, her pulling the relay is a totally believable way for her to set up this encounter. But what does that have to do with the slow crank problem?

About an hour into the movie, Dominic warns Cipher that the GTX’s “misfiring” engine could result in it seizing up altogether. After some tense moments with her trying to see around the raised hood, Dom closes it and holds up a spark plug. Is he just going to leave it out like that? Or did he just happen to have a spare spark plug on hand to replace it with? He chides her for not being prepared for things like this, so I find it highly unlikely that he had extra parts, or the tools to swap them in.

Ok, so the car hacking scene was pretty cool (although I’m not convinced that all of those cars had driving controls that were hackable). It started to trigger a bit of uncanny valley, but then again, it probably would in real life, too. Seeing a flock of autonomous cars moving in sync would look surreal, I bet. It is indeed our !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! come to life.

It’s hard to say how much of it was supposed to be remote control, pre-programmed maneuvers, or AI. But it was fun to watch.

I’d like to know how they’re getting so much tire grip in Vladovin. Not just for Dom’s rush into the base, but for managing to do a friggin’ WHEELIE ON THE ICE (and you thought the wheelie burnout from the first film was bad...)

That’s all I got for now. It’s gonna be a while before I feel like watching this movie again.

DISCUSSION (41)

Takuro Spirit > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 19:08

I almost rented it the other night but will probably just wait till I can watch it for free if I’m bored and lonely when its on Netflix....

I’ve seen all the others so I figured why not?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 19:12

They had it in the hilarious cheap movies rack at the grocery store today, but I got Hateful Eight instead.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 19:35

What a terrible garbage movie. The best part is the race in Cuba. The lead up to that race could have been the whole movie, and it would have been better

46and2aheadofme > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 19:46

I DVRed Furious 7 a couple weeks ago but still haven’t watched it yet. Parental duties have made us a little behind on movies. It’s going to be hard to avoid The Last Jedi spoilers for a year.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 22:30

They should have stopped with 7.

Fast8 is a hot garbage fire of a film. I honestly might argue that 2Fast 2Furious is a better movie than Fast8. And I own the whole series, apart from 2 because I think it is just awful. So yeah, I dislike 8 quite a lot.

aquila121 > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/20/2017 at 23:15

In 2Fast , Tyrese Gibson at least got to play a charismatic version of Roman Pierce, not the ridiculous court-jester-punchline he was relegated to in the later films. And yeah, the cars were neon-covered garbage, but at least that movie kept the count down to two massively implausible car stunts (unlike 5, 6, 7—and 8 broke the “Cinema Sins” counter).

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/20/2017 at 23:16

What’s wrong with 2? It’s one of my favorites. Tokyo Drift gets all of my ire for having the world’s most unlikeable godawful lead character.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/20/2017 at 23:18

2 is bad, but is it worse than 3?

XJDano > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 23:18

Which ever one they come back from Mexico through tunnels and does a wheel stand in the desert. That’s the last movie of these I seen.

Manwich - now Keto-Friendly > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 23:21

So what was the fate of the furious?

Did they all get sent to the fires of hell?

Urambo Tauro > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
12/20/2017 at 23:26

I think we all did.

Urambo Tauro > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/20/2017 at 23:27

7 wasn’t a perfect movie, but it had the perfect ending.

Dusty Ventures > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 23:30

“although I’m not convinced that all of those cars had driving controls that were hackable”

One of them is an 80s GM van, so I’m guessing no

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 23:35

I think they vaguely explain why the car was so fast in reverse, saying it was a boat motor, with a tractor transmission. I guess tractor transmissions have as many reverse gears as they do forward.

Also the vacuum line he pulled was for the wastegate actuator. No vacuum signal mean full possible boost. Of coarse this would have caused the engine to run super lean and blow to peices.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Urambo Tauro
12/20/2017 at 23:50

My professional opinion is you would’ve been better off staring at a wall for 2 hours.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 00:01

There is more thought in this review than they put into script writing F&F 8 through 10.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
12/21/2017 at 01:51

Yeah, but it also had Han, and his RX-7 and the drift m/chase scene with DKans his 350Z. And the first race with the Malibu and the Viper. And drifting!

AestheticsInMotion > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
12/21/2017 at 02:07

Not to mention the best soundtrack! And rooftop midnight soccer. Don’t try to tell me that’s not awesome. Team 3 all day

AestheticsInMotion > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
12/21/2017 at 02:07

Much better choice. I saw that when it opened in 80mm or whatever, with intermissions. Such a good time.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 02:35

Kinja'd!!!

my god, that is a shit ton of CGI.

KevlarRx7 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
12/21/2017 at 04:24

A couple of tractor’s at work will do 20 mph in reverse, due to having to have to reverse with huge heavy trailers on the back of them. But I still don’t see how the gearing of a tractor box would work on a car, as they’re designed for maximum torque.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Manwich - now Keto-Friendly
12/21/2017 at 06:01

That’s the next film. Which I believe is called F’in Hell.

Stapleface > AestheticsInMotion
12/21/2017 at 07:15

I too saw that one in theaters. It was so beautifully shot. I feel bad for anyone who hasn’t had a chance to see this on the big screen.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
12/21/2017 at 07:50

I happen to like 3 quite a bit. Han is fantastic and the driving is the most realistic out of all the movies.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
12/21/2017 at 07:52

True, Lucas Black is bad. But Han is fantastic and the driving is the most realistic of the entire series, apart from 1.

Tripper > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/21/2017 at 08:11

2Fast is best fast

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
12/21/2017 at 08:33

That first race was fucking horrible. Two powerful cars going at it balls out and... a truck full of onlookers is keeping up? Fuckin what?

Duck Duck Grey Duck FTMFW! > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 09:29

The beginning in Cuba felt like I was watching a tourism promo. Like that was the deal to film there. I agree, 7 should have been the last one. I enjoyed watching YouTube videos of behind the scenes on the cars than actually watching F8.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Tripper
12/21/2017 at 09:35

WRONG

Tripper > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)
12/21/2017 at 09:46

Kinja'd!!!

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Tripper
12/21/2017 at 09:48

Back at ya, buddy.

just-a-scratch > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
12/21/2017 at 11:14

The lead in Tokyo Drift isn’t great but the supporting characters are mostly decent. It also has some good car action sequences.

just-a-scratch > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 11:19

Supposedly the 1950 chevy has a tractor transmission and a tall rear end so it can go equal speeds forward and reverse.

http://fastandfurious.wikia.com/wiki/1950_Chevrolet_Fleetline

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 11:50

And to this day I haven’t seen a single F&F film. I’m intending to keep it that way.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
12/21/2017 at 12:40

The truck was an SRT10 if I recall and only kept up because it was blocking the Malibu to slow it down.

Urambo Tauro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer
12/21/2017 at 12:41

If you liked Point Break , but felt that it needed less surfing and more cars, you’ll like the first TFatF . The sequels stray pretty far from that, though. (Although I will say, Tokyo Drift holds up alright under its own merits.)

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Urambo Tauro
12/21/2017 at 12:46

Never watched it. I watched Bullitt, Drive, NFS, Redline (anime), and OG Gone In 60 Seconds.

19JRC99 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer
12/26/2017 at 19:11

The original GISS is still the best car chase movie of all time in my opinion, with Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry a close second.

19JRC99 > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
12/26/2017 at 19:12

The CGI is laughably bad.

Other than that, and Brian and Roman repeatedly calling eachother “cuh” (and making it cringier each time), it was really just your average F&F film. With bonus ‘69 Yenkclone Camaro.

Tokyo Drift is probably one of my least favorites, EXCEPT for that Monte Carlo. That car was a beast, and I loved it.

19JRC99 > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles
12/26/2017 at 19:14

This. I always assumed the truck cut ahead somewhere. Also, Monte Carlo, not Malibu.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > 19JRC99
12/26/2017 at 19:27

Yeah you’re right. I originally thought it was a Cutlass, I remembered some one saint it was a Chevy, bu I got the wrong Chevy